i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
