Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
