I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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