So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
