Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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