But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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