guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
