The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
