i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Randomize
