The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
