he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
