a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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