Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
