After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
