He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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