you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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