The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
