so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
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Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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