sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
