He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
