Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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