it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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