I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
