CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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