i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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