My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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