we made out on top of his cat.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
FUCK WHALES
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
