Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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