Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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