I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
