Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
