Your tits are I can't wait for
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
