Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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