He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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