We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
