When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
