i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
