So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
