the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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