just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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