? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
