Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize