mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
