just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
