I'm drive I can fine osifer
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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