Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
