So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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