Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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