did you get engaged???
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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