you guys were way drunker than both of me
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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