what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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