he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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