No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
