I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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