I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
COCAINE IS GR8
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
