Ketchup is God's man juice
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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