You don't have asthma, your pregnant
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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