hotel room ftw
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize