her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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